My social life is in the doldrums.
I totally beat you in that arena audrey!
Oh well, a good 2007 to you all.
Happy new year in advance!

I reeeeaaaallly hope i don't get stuck at home tomorrow. Everyone who agreed to hang out on nye has given me a raincheck and now I'll most probably be stuck at home, counting down with the fucking idiotbox. I'm pretty riled up right now. At least I had a rather good day at work, with all the funny(in a cute way) and friendly gay customers, and cute kids. It's so sad that the twins have to seperated once again. Zi was transferred over to taka which is really quite an awful place. I know cuz I was helping out there yesterday. The standard of customers is soooo different. Oh well, here is always waitressing then can bring us starcrossed faux siblings back together again.

I like this guy philip.
Guys should wear ralph lauren striped polos and vests
and use hugo boss in motion limited edition cologne.
Lousy ballet pumps gives me blisters and makes me limp.
12 year old boy matures too fast.
A super cute japanese boy just made my day.
Paedophilic tendencies? No way.

Today's entry may sound kind of cryptic
but I'm just too darn lazy to blog properly.
And yes, I have found a job.

Happy christmas everyone!

The xmas party liesel and I organized at her house didnt really go as planned. The preparation was really fun as we rushed to make the food like factory workers.liesel's tj friends were the first to arrived and we just chatted and screened love actually while waiting. When more came, we started of with a drinking game with this really odd concoction liesel & I made out of beer, sprite, orange cordial and ice cream soda, which ended up tasting solely of icecream soda. Haha. The game circle of death was really fun and I thought the mood was just getting started and it was pretty much going as planned. Then, the others wanted to karaoke while waiting for all the rest to come.

Unfortunately, they wanted to karaoke a bit too much and it wasted half our night. But the time we pried the microphone off them to play more games we had planned, the atmosphere had gone down already and it all pretty much went downhill from there. We tried to play more drinking games to bring the mood back up but some weren't paying attention, disinterested or whining. Frankly, I was a tad bit annoyed. Well, it wasnt that bad throughout the game but it moved so slowly you couldn't get the hype up. So we tried truth&drink or dare, which was pretty fun but most of them kept picking truth. And for the truth part, we couldn't get any whacky answers, well from most that is. The game ended with us just sitting and chatting, spilling our stories and lik reminicing his painful lovelife history.

Watched love actually while the others slept. The party wasn't boring or anything, it just wasn't one where I could say I had a smashing good time. We had really planned alot of games and even went to search for music to bring out the spirit but all weren't used. It was just a gathering in the end, not the hyped up smashing party liesel & I were hoping for (as you can see from the invite).

P.S. photo links are on the sidebar

Oooh. Liesel and I were searching for xmas jobs but as usual to no avail, so we decided to host a xmas party at her house instead! I'm pretty excited about it. It's gonna be something like a cocktail party, with lots of drinks and food and whacky games. I sure hope it'll be as fun as we plan it to be. Haha. And check out the party invite liesel made! It makes our party seem so exclusive and everything!

I am back online! WOOHOO. The days without my internet were so dreary, I am such an addict. I guess I need to change my router soon since the security is having some weird problems.

On tuesday, the day my internet died, I watched so many movies to pass the time. Requiem for a dream was really disturbing, about the life of druggies. The ending really made me perturbed. An old lady took diet pills, got addicted to them and finally went insane. Her son, a drug dealer lost his arm due to an infection from shooting up using a dirty needle or something. His friend was in jail, held in prejudice against as he was black while his girlfriend was forced to have sex with other men(and women for some perverse voyeuristic pleasure) to earn money for him.
After that, I watched crash. It was stereotypical and boring. Rewatched brokeback mountain:)))).

Wednesday was shopping with mum at chinatown. We were at the nordic shop in club street and the guy was just positively gloating about the fact that he was named in the top 30 stylish people in singapore and would be in the papers the next day. Pretty amusing guy actually, but I was so tired for some reason I couldn't be bothered to patronise him.

Watched the holiday with my twin yesterday. It was a really sweet show and the first time Ive seen Jude Law not cast as some playboy or cad. And yes, I am still unemployed unfortunately.

Please watch this!!! Matt did it for a sort of class graduation remembrance and it's really nice with loads of inside jokes of course. I tried to upload the video on from youtube but it was just taking too long. Ahh bother.

Job search today wasn't very good and I'm too lazy to elaborate. Nikki! I wanna distribute flyers for your tutor too!

I just watched closer with my mum and I really like it alot! It was pretty hard to understand and I suppose it was kind of mature sort of love story, but it was nice to ponder about. Plus, the eyecandies (Jude law and natalie portman) was a big bonus. Heh heh. The script was really witty and I wished I had time to go note down all those quotable quotes! Like " You think love is so simple. You think the heart is just a diagram." HAHA.

I was supposed to go swimming at sm's house today but mister showers didnt permit us to, so I decided to take up liesel's offer to go look for a bikini for her. I didn't get her reply so I surmised that she was already performing her dance, so I went to Marina to wait for her. Shopped around for awhile and tried out that black novo ballet pumps I wanted so much. Size 37 is too small, 38 causes me to walk out of it and 39 is just too darn big, such a pity. Such a pity. Anyway, I was so bored of waiting for her I headed for home. After buying a gingerbread man(yes, I LOVE him so much) at coffeebean in j8, I received a call from liesel saying that her phone was stolen. Haha. We were like those starcrossed lovers you watch on tv where both are side by side on an escalator, only going in different directions. One turns one way and the other looks the opposite, and they just miss each other by a hair's breadth. It was rather hilarious in a satirical, black comedy kind of way. And at least I got some fresh hair instead of increasing the statistics of myopia here by glueing myself to the idiotbox.

The culminating consequences of having too many relatives visiting in one day, playing santa with huge hordes of junk food? A two- day gorge fest on chips cookies and chocolates that would definetly cause my weight to skyrocket by 10 000kg. Twin! If I don't manage to make it to our meeting on monday, you'll know why. I got stuck in my own door frame>.<. What a horrid horrid thought to have.

I just realized I haven't had any posts rambling about illogical, mindless nuances unlike the ones I had practically everyday at my previous blog. Maybe grey doesn't suit too well with my old noggin, or probably A levels had extirpated what ever braincells I have left and only left an inch of my brainstem for me to perform my most basic mental functions and processes.

Why is it that even though we live in the same world, it is not enough for some whereas I can hardly cope with it?

I AM SO IMMENSELY BORED

i can just drown in my tears.
Seriously, i need a job.

There's a place I see you follow me
Just a taste of all that might come to be
I'm alone but holding breath you can breathe
To question every answer counted

It's a crime you let it happen to me
Out of mind, I love it, easy to please
Nevermind, forget it, just memories
On a page inside a spiral notebook

Tanning with zihua today. We met up pretty early so I had a really tough time just stopping myself from continuously hitting the snooze button and falling asleep while bathing. The sunrays were just glaring and have no idea how zi could just lay there comfortably while I had to keep fidgeting as the heat was really unbearable. The beach was pretty empty so we couldn't peoplewatch much and our tanning session was stop short by the onset of a heavy downpour. But at times, I was raelly thankful for the ominous dark clouds that blocked the sun as it was just too goddamn uncomfortable!

Ate at yoshinoya and the manager was super nice, she should be nominated for the GEMs award! Watched date movie and she's the man at zihua's house and had swedish meatballs and chocolate mousse at ikea.

On the ride home, I was sitting in front of this gay couple and one of them was like whining to his boyfriend so much with a nasal little act-cute voice I almost wanted to turn around to slap him as it was freaking annoying. Plus, i could see the guy beside them was highly uncomfortable as the two kept snuggling and giggling themselves silly. Gah. WENTWORTH MILLER((((((:

Shopping with zihua was...a relief. It was like a release from all the pent up ennui from being stuck at home over the past few days. Ate our smoked salmon sandwich at coffeebean. It looked a little pathetic and I have no idea why they had to roll the salmon up, making it terribly hard to eat. Anyway, I got to eat my humungo gingerbread man! I swear, the gingerbread man is the best part of christmas, it really is! Prom shopped with zihua. I had to pick like the same amount of tops as she picked dresses so I wouldn't waste time and it was pretty stressful. haha. But I found quite a few that I really like. Sigh. So many clothes, so little money:(((. Went to marina after vivo got boring and we bought our swimwear for tanning(quote from twin;)). HAHA. While walking home, I saw a rainbow:)))).

Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
All because I'm
Comin' down the years turn over
And angels fall without you there
And I'll go on and I'll bring you home and
All because I'm
All because I'm
And I'll become
What you became to me

I love my twin because she is my saviour from insanity,
just with the single act of hanging out with me tomorrow:).

The Professional is a really good movie. Natalie Portman is so pretty even when she was a kid and Gary Oldman is playing is usual deranged fucked up character. The storyline is really sweet and the ending was really surprising albeit bittersweet. Bloody good show it is.

I'm so super bored at home. Incarceration gives me headaches and would literally drive me insane soon. The life of the unemployed is so excruciating. Why is it the more you don't do anything the more tired you become?

This is hilarious.

Today was quite a great day, as I finally got to go out.
Went with my mum to holland V's sasa to get makeup
then met up with lilian and audrey at NYDC where they were having lunch.
I really liked the music they were playing, unfortunately the waiter said it was just a compilation and not an album on sale:(((.
Went rabbithunting for lian jie after that!
It was so hilarious as we had no idea which stop to get off to go United Square
and almost ended up in little india!
Took a cab in the end.
Omg. I want to work in a petshop and play with the animals all day long.
And was so tempted to get those dog cushions for myself
as they seemed like a cheap alternative to a bean bag.

I finally bought my SKINNY JEANS from f21:))))))))))))))))))).
Audge paid for half of it since she lost the hair bet.
We were like looking at all the shops for them and finally
the one at f21 fitted the best but I wanted to look somemore.
So audge helped me hide it in some compartments at the lower shelves
and we went to M&S to take a look.
When we went back, a salesgirl was at the area and she asked Audge what she was looking for as she reached in to get the jeans! Omg. It was so super embarrassing. I felt like those uber kiasu Singapore aunties at a megasale. Haha.

Oh yea, and we saw this really thin girl with such flamingo like legs, they make a matchstick look like a telephone pole and Marykate olsen look like drew carrey.

Prom was SUPER boring.
The emcee was horridly cheesy,
the food wasn't great such that I only ate 3 out of 8 courses.
At least I got to look like a rockstar for the day:),
and go to see everyone all dressed up.
I totally loved my hair,
which became a horrid mess in the end:(.
But ronald got the punk look that i was covetting for,
without, of course,
missing the chance to get me to cut my hair short.


Went to MOS instead of vj's party at DXO.
It was pretty fun
but I'm dead tired now
and on the verge of losing my voice
from having to talk loudly there.
Towards the end
only leo lik and me were left dancing
while the rest sat and talked.
Francesca's group joined us on the dancefloor too.
Left when the club closed at 430a.m.

Oi and alex came to my house,
slept abit,
ate Mac's breakfast at j8,
met with andy to take the goodie bags
which we left in his room.
THANKS ALOT!
Met xin and mag on my way home.
Slept till 340pm.
Drained.

prom pictures are found --->HERE<---

It's prom today. GAH. I don't know if it's anxiety or dread weighing on me now. Sm, oi and alex are coming over to my house to do makeup, then we'll hire a cab down to the salon and when our hair is done, off to the ritz we go! I'm a little disappointed that we couldn't get a hotel room, but we just could not get enough people to share with us unfortunately. Oh well. This arrangement works as well. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping it won't be a boring night and we'll enjoy the after prom activities ( no, we're boycotting the party held by victorians HAHA).

I just murdered and cleeaned up the body of that vile creature called a cockroach just now. All on my own. What an awful awful ordeal. I still can feel the tingles of disgust reverbating throughout my body. Ugh. I was just taking a plastic bag from the compartment below the kitchensink to line my dustbin and I see this twitching brown thing staring up at me, its feelers flurrying as if mocking me. Appalled by it, I threw the plastic bag on the floor, causing to land supine with its 6 spindly legs scrambling to overturn itself. Armed with BAYGON, i managed to kill the critter and the rest (thank god) is history.

Feast of all saints must be one of the most boring books anne rice has written. It is ultimately dreary and not a glimmer of her usual gothic sensuality can be detected. It sort of reminds me of pride and prejudice, no offence to the Jane Austen fans out there. I suppose the plot is pretty interesting, about the gens de color, white supremacy versus black oppression. And there are pretty controversial, if not violent scenes, like the gang rape of the ravishing Marie (i still can't believe it), or that Lisette is also the bastard daughter of Monsieur Phillipe. However, the book drags its feet throughout the the plot with incessant drunken drama from Christophe and his mother Juliet. The jealousy and hatred Cecille has for her own daughter Marie is so soap opera, I can imagine it in Days of Our Lives. Sigh. Such disappointment from my favourite author. Let's hope John Katzenbach does a good job in sparking my weary interest in The Analyst.

Shopped with my mum at holland village today! I finally got my earrings for prom. They're like big white plastic hoop earrings. I also bought my black metallic nail polish from sasa. My mum was still early for work so we shopped somemore and I tried out some skinny jeans. Omg. I love them so much, ut the cutting didn't suit me. It made me look like I had a dick or sth due to the excess cloth at the front. Oh well, at least I know I can wear such a fit. Only thing is to find it.

Met up with audrey for coffee at coffeebean. I was reading my book and sipping my cappucino when to my horror, I realized I was surrounded by students and could here them discussing the topic of sine and cosine. I just had to move before all the horrid memories of the A levels came back to me. Audrey bought lots of stuff for me from her trip to Shenzhen and HK. THANKS ALOT DEAR:)))). PLUS, she lost her haircut bet as the chinese hairdresser didn't understand her and cropped her hair all short. So now she owes me a treat. I told her to treat me to clothes instead of food, because I sooooo do not want to gain weight. Haha. Now, I just have to pick the clothes I want and she will have to pay half price! I see my satchel hobo bag/ballet pumps/skinny jeans on their way!

I love Marks and Spencer chips because they only cost $1.90 and contain only 175 calories per pack.

I fixed my tagboard! Good going xac! I shall give myself a pat on the back for such an amazing achievement an IT retard like me had accomplished. I think the blogger staff are having an early xmas this year because the functions seem a little screwy and all. Bah humbug.

I never really believed in christmas really. I have this tendency of lumping it together with other commercial holidays like Valentine's Day or Easter. My favourite christmas story is the one of the Christmas Carol, and the Grinch is my santa claus. I believe that the jolly fat man in the red suit ate too much milk and cookies and died of a heartattack when I was eight. That was when I heard a loud THUD on my roof on christmas day. That was when the bottom of my christmas tree started to remain bare every year after and the circus that came to town found a new reindeer with a red nose to showcase in their animal exhibitions, along with this giant rabbit that could carry baskets and a little blonde boy who had tiny wings on his back.

I need sleep and to eat lesser. It would do me good. Too much food makes me drunk.

[Just finished101 Philosophy problems]
[Currently readingFeast of all saints by anne rice]

Went prom shopping with ah mah and her cousin today. Cheryl(that's her cousin) & I managed to persuade her to get the kimono style top from zara which she can wear as a dress and leggings to slip under when we go out at night. We ate cotton candy which was larger than my head. One day, I sall figure out the innerworkings of a cotton cady machine. Indeed I wiil. How can they turn some pink crystals of sugar into such fluffy spirals by just spinning at an immense velocity? Argh. I didn't know prom was this coming wednesday. I thought I still had a week left. Grr. Prom sucks.

I have found my new love. Navel oranges. And I swear I will begin working out. Soon. Very soon. Honestly.

Bishan Community Library is pathetically empty.
But I managed to find at least 5 books to borrow.
Grocery shopping with a cold is the worst thing ever.
I had to balance all the bulky items while trying to
wipe my snifling nose.
And the Sun just had to go onto bake-the-world mode
right after a heavy downpour.
Argh.
At least my shirt came in the mail
and it fits pretty well.

Fooled by my own desires
I twist my fate
Just to feel you
But you, turn me toward the light
And you're one with me
Will you run with me?

I'll stay with you
The walls will fall before we do
Take my hand now
We'll run forever
I can feel the storm inside you
I'll stay with you

Just came back from zouk! Haha. Our first taste of the nightlife. When we first got there, it was closed due to some private function so we sat at the wind bar and had cocktails. We then went to Velvet Underground...and now I know why tuesday wasn't the day to go. It was all busineesmen and such! Poor alex was hit on my this drunken, slurring angmoh who kept trying to chat up with us and only liesel bothered to patronize him. I was trying to stop my inner mean bitch from emerging. HAHA. Liesel said there was another guy checking me out, and he was a fat white guy too.-shudders-. Anyway, we left pretty early as simeng had to be home by 12 thanks to her dad. But we're trying MOS on friday!

Only liesel could keep her eyes open...

Link to other pictures are at the bottom right column.

I'm so terribly annoyed by the selfish.

talk about havng a dysfunctional family

Maybe you'll get what you wanted
Maybe you'll stumble upon it
Everything you ever wanted
In a permanent state

I'm so terribly annoyed by the selfish.

I just compmpleted rosemary's baby. Not bad, two books in one day. And I absolutely love the book! I wonder if there is a sequel to it, the ending was so openended!! So the devil's child is born, and he sounds pretty cute too. Argh, darn you Levin for giving me a cliffhanger. How am I going to sleep at night now huh?

I just finished the Green Mile, and I cried when John Coffey died and when Mr Jingles died. Honestly, this is King's best work yet.

I'm currently reading the Green Mile by Stephen King, which I borrowed from the Esplanade library and I got to the part where Eduard Delacroix was executed in the most brutal way, and I just began bawling as I struggled to peer through the tears and read. Normally, a sponge is needed to be soaked in brine to conduct the electricity in an electric chair. But as this doofus, this fucking warden called Percy Wetmore had a grudge against Delacroix, he didn't wet the sponge and cause the poor man to be fried alive. Argh. I'm so riled up now. On another note, I do think this is one of the better stories Stephen King has written. The language and the whole feel of the story is very different and much better than his other novels which have a touch of well, redneck to it. Ahh, I'm off to finish the book.

I still have Rosemary's baby and Shakespeare and movie to complete.

I FINALLY GOT MY PROM OUTFIT!!
Thank god for my mum.
She came up with an idea of wearing a two piece,
with satin shorts as bottoms,
instead of a boring old dress.
So I bought:
A shiny-ish low cut, bareback top from zara
satin dress shorts from warehouse.
I think I have the smartest mum ever.

I told zihua I was a little apprehensive as it may be too casual, but she told me this
"With confidence, you can make prom look like it is supposed to be casual."
Haha, so I shall bring out great confindence, and make everyone else look overdressed.

GOODBYE NOTES.

Shopping with zihua today was quite good. I've narrowed my prom dress to two from zara. One is a red velvet tube dress, to the knee with a high waist belt. The other is a pucchi print, black, silver and white swirls, satin sort-of wrap around dress. But it's pretty long, so if I do get it, I'm planning to alter it. The pattern is just gorgeous and I have to 2 votes to none for it. I reserved both of them so my mum can help me make the final decision tomorrow. I really hate prom shopping. I seriously do. Those who know what I'm talking about, please give me your vote too.:)

Oh yes, I met yinghuey, yihan and JADE COLE today.

Please congratulate me.
I lost 1 kg.
It's not alot but it's the start of
overcoming that plateau!
I learnt how t0 transfer funds
and bought an abercrombie shirt online.
My first online purchase!
Thanks twin! Hope you get
your top soon.
Ok, have to go visit my dad
then shop with my twin.
I want to get my prom dress by today.

I finally have a new haircut!! Thank you so much simeng! And Uncle and Auntie Lin!!! Haha. It's really great as the hairstylist understood I didn't like the japanese style too much and he himself preferred the London fashion. I thought I would never be able to find a hairstylist who favours london over japanese cut after Juno. I have ash brown hair now. I told Ronald( the hairstylist) I wanted a chocolate brown and so he showed me the colour chart and explained how the colours would become after it fades. Plus, he kept asking me to cut my short as I had a nice headshape, very unlike the flat asian ones. I was even asked to shave my head bald! Lol, somehow that reminds me of my mother and her requests of me getting a mohawk or a shaved head... I suppose I was pretty lucky to get him. Oi was saying because I told another guy I didn't want a magazine with all japanese styles (the poor dude had difficulty finding an angmoh-ish hairstyle mag), which was why he came over to talk to us.

Oi's hair is really funky now. Short and pixie style, dyed light copper. Alex is super cute now! With straight bangs, the ones I wanted but couldn't get as my hair doesn't stick to my head. She looks like a doll with her big eyes and striaght bangs. I think when her new hair has grown and the rebonding isn't so stick straight, she would look great.

Once again, thank you Lins!

This is what my dear twin said after I showed her this photo of my new hair.
` says:
anw next time i wanna cut my hair i'll drag you along and point to your head
muse for a nightmare says:
HAHA

In general, I have two accents. A local one and a slightly american accented one, which I use for more formal occasions. Lately, I've been speaking to my bro more often and he fedback to my mum that my accent was very local. So now my mum wants me to practice using the formal one as she doesn't want me to make the singaporean one a habit. Hmph. I guess in the family I wouldn't sound out of place as everyone speaks an accented english. But to my friends, please pardon me for sounding like a snob who is trying to act all ABC and everything. Haha. I had to endure enough taunting previous, and the everfrequent question " Why do you speak like an angmoh?" Like dude, how the hell do you explain an accent or something? I suppose the most probable reason was that I grew up in a predominantly british neighbourhood? Then again, I don't have that stiff upper lip enunciations on my words, now do I?

Going out with the girls to vivo later, but i'll probably drop by to visit my dad first.

Your clan is a dysfunctional one. That is because you are a Malkavian. Something is poisonous about this clan's blood that drives all those embraced to madness. However, in this madness, you tend to have great insight. Unfortunately, people just take it as senseless ramblings. In every family there is an insane one. You're it. What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?

You are The Emperor

Stability, power, protection, realization; a great person.

The Emperor is the great authority figure of the Tarot, so it represents
fathers, father-figures and employers. There is a lot of aggression and violence
too.

The Emperor naturally follows the Empress. Like an infant, he is filled with enthuiasm, energy, aggression. He is direct, guileless and all too often irresistible. Unfortunately, like a baby he can also be a tyrant. Impatient, demanding, controlling. In the best of circumstances, he signifies the leader that everyone wants to follow, sitting on a throne that indicates the solid foundation of an Empire he created, loves and rules with intelligence and enthusiasm. But that throne can also be a trap, a responsibility that has the Emperor feeling restless, bored and discontent.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

NO MORE A LEVELS!!! WOOHOO.(good luck to all the s paper and lit students though.) The guys, simeng, aileen and I went to cathay for lunch at subway to discuss the details of the chalet. Watched Casino Royale after that. It was pretty good, not as bad as I thought. Daniel Craig as Bond is rather odd, since he portrayed him as a very rash and reckless man. But since Times said that this new bond was a baby bond, before his slickness had set in, I suppose it makes sense. Craig even looks much better after you had watched the movie. lol. Certain romance parts were a tad too corny and very korean drama like. All in all it was a not bad movie.

After the movie, we seperated from the guys, and I went shopping with simeng. I absolutely love pull and bear, and I made sm a fan of them too! Haha. It's a uk brand which is slightly similar to topshop, but more punk and attitude in it. Topshop is a little too girlish for me, and I end up looking like an idiot most of the time. I bought a long tank top and those sleeveless pullover thingy. We tried looking for prom dresses, but so far, the only ones that are satisfactory are from zara. I'm just afraid that someone may wear the same as me, since zara is so commercialized.

We finally got our eyebrows done, which is a goddamn painful process. My nails are a cool blue and black now:). What a bimbotic day it is.

Today must be the best day in my whole A level period.
Honestly it is.
Visited my dad today
then went shopping with mum.
And I bought...

Top from pull and bear
white shorts from pull and bear
aviator shades from aldo
white madrid classic birkenstocks from the birks store above borders

Ahhh, I'm so happy, it's ecstacy.
Since I'm in such a good mood,
I shall forgive my brother for saying that
to be 52kg you should be 1.7m at least.
Hmph.
And I shall not procrastinate
and will do some bio mcq.
People, please stop crowding Topshop
and give pull and bear a chance. HAHA.
I do think they are much better.
I would like to go to a Vivienne Westwood shop.

One last paper to go!!!!

I've finally updated the links on my blog. But I can't remember many since I don't blog surf alot, so sorry to those I missed out! Haha. Tag my board to tell me know eh?

I can't wait to go SHOPPING tomorrow with my mum. Yes, I know its the day before the bio paper, but I'm going to go mad if I don't go out. Today is such a nice relaxing day. Woke up at 11 odd, watched death note movie and ate my cereal. I daresay the movie is a farcry from the manga and anime, but at least L was cute. Read some scans and tried doing some bio mcq. Please note the word TRIED. Having some cold pasta for lunch now, and I promised myself to start working out today as I am dead afraid of gaining weight again. If only everyday was like this.

They sure weren't kidding when they talked about
the darkside of the media.

I'm waiting for you to drown in this love
I'm waiting for you to open your arms.

Someone please just shoot me.

Today was just one crisis after another. I took 162 down to novena, only to find that it does not drop right outside novena square, so I missed the correct stop and ended up pretty far from the area. I had to walk all the way to United Square so as to take the underground and reach tths. After I collected my dad's meds, I went to the bookshop at the hospital to see if they sold the Economic Review. Niet. I then tried Times at Novena Square, no luck either. I ended up buying ForbesAsia for him. When I got to yck, it was drizzling, but thank god I borrowed mum's umbrella. I finally got to the hospital, reached the floor, talked to the nurse abit about my dad and his meds and was then directed to his bed. Guess what? He was transferred to another bed. Thus, I had to walk circles around the place like some retard before I found the correct ward. The physiotherapist came for awhile and did some exercises with him. The old man is still going strong! Haha.

I was then chatting with him abit when a horrid realization dawned upon me (yes, cliche phrase but that's how it really happened). I was fiddling with my bag when I realized my keys weren't with me and it struck me that I left them at the doorway and left the door unlock! With no one at home! Oh goodness! So I had to cut short my visit and hurry rush home. Halfway, it started pouring, but luckily I was in the comfort of the bus. Cutting across the blocks from the bus stop, not so luck though. The wind was blowing the rain at an angle, so even though I had an umbrella, my feet got wet and I was wearing slippers! And as you know, my slipper- wearing skills aren't top notch so I had difficulty walking. Finally when I reached home, my hand on the door knob, praying that no madcap burglar or murderer had barged in. The door didn't budge when I pushed! I was thinking that maybe my bro came home early, but that's impossible since he would visit my dad instead. Instinctively, I searched my bag, and you would not believe it. There were my keys staring straight at me. I had placed them in a different compartment from usual! How can anyone be so stupid I ask you. I almost fainted at the false alarm I gave myself.

Sorry for ditching you for such silliness, dad. And he was so philosophical about it, " Since these things happened, it already happened. No need to worry yourself over it." Oh and the nurse was really nice, wishing me good luck for my A's.

Phew, today sure is a pretty busy day for me. Early in the morning I had a repulsive bio p3, and let me tell you it was so bad. I couldn't do most of the structured! Sure hope the essay would manage to salvage my grade. Went down to tths. My dad was changing to amk hospital today, and since char is in america, alvin is in jakarta and my bro has classes, I had to be there. Thank god my mum came with me too. We took a cab down to the hospital, and let me tell you, it sure isn't very pleasant. There was a certain smell wafting about that made me so nauseous. After my dad settled in, my mum had to go off for work. So i stayed for awhile and listened to the social workerand doctor. Really, the social worker is pretty much redundant as my dad isn't that destitute. I wonder how he is going to fit it, as well, not to be elitist or anything, but he is probably the most educated there. The worker did a slight double take when I said he was English speaking too. Hmm. One weird thing to note, the nurse asked if I had thyroid, and pointed to my neck. OMG. Do I have a really fat neck or something? I should stop making fun of Jeffery from now on then.

I've only got an hour to rest as I still have to go down to tths to get my dad's meds, buy the EconomicReview for him and Times mag. At least, i've got time to eat my cereal and had a small dumpling, which shall last me the whole day.

I'm so glad the worst is over. Only thing left is bio mcq.

The trauma of the impending biology paper tomorrow gave me a very odd dream last night. For some reason, the school system had changed and we were to change schools after a semester or something if our grades couldn't keep up, or were improving. It was pretty much like streaming in sec 2 and p4. So I ended up in acjc, god knows why, along with oi and sm. It was like the first day in school, since everyone was wearing their respective ex- school uniforms. I vividly remember a gang of cj people walking by. LOL. This is where the bio horro sets in. I have to take biology classes but sm and oi didn't have to as they received at least a B in the previous exam in our school. I didn't know I had biology class then, so I was exploring the school until I met Huey and Jac who were in my class. Oh yes, there was this flash to oi and sm for awhile showing them waitressing at some cafe which was in school? Haha, maybe it was How to waitress class 101, in place of bio. So I was chatting with them until they suddenly mentioned, "hey don't you have bio now?" Immensely shocked, I bolted all the way to the classroom and barged in as Daniel Chua (yes, the vj bio lecturer!) was handing out oms sheets. Apparently, we were having some test of some sort. He gave me a reproving look and handed me the paper. But the odd thing was, no question paper! Yet all around me, everyone was just shading the answers! How terribly odd. I can't remember what happened after that, but I suppose it wasn't very interesting since it wasn't worth me keeping note of.

Alas, I have to get back to bio in reality:(.

Sheep are not the docile, pleasant creatures of the pastoral idyll. Any countryman will tell you that. They are sly, occasionally vicious, pathologically stupid.
-- Joanne Harris, Chocolat

For some reason, I find this quote highly amusing. Argh, I just can't get myself to concentrate on bio:(. I hate advisory emails.

This is pretty funny too.
Talk about magnifying glasses.
Or sleeping with your eyes wide open.

I need to focus on bio...

I went to visit my dad after the chem paper. The paper was sort of difficult. I won't say it is manageable, yet it doesn't lie in the challenging area. As I reiterate, it is plain weird. Bought dim sum for my dad at taka before heading for the hospital, too bad there weren't selling hao gao and stuff at that time, since tea time was apparently over. I wanted to get dinner, but apparently there wasn't any thing nice around my school area. Pfft. Walking through town was such a torture! I had to endeavour resist the temptation to shop. Ah, I like the lavin poster. How come I never realized the shop was there before?! Eating chips for dinner now. Downing a 400 calorie bag worth of useless junk. I didn't want to have dinner with char and brocuz, well, I don't like local fare. And it wouldn't be very polite to fusspot them huh. My dad is a lot storonger now, they just started him on one of the meds. The other apparently has horrid side effects like hallucinations.

I think adopting the ask then tell strategy is very good, and saves me the awkwardness. ARGH, I need to cram the whole ho yin kiong into my brain...

I must be having some major guilt trip for quitting taekwondo so sneakily. I just dreamt I went back for training yesterday! And like, all the kids were so annoying and everything, no cute ones at all. The little monsters. Claire was playing squash and like Kevin was goofing about. Apparently, we were having a camp of some sort because it was at night, and there were blankets and tents strewn all over the place even though it was indoors! For some odd reason, I was blogging with Aki. HAHA. I suppose I do miss the people there huh.

ARGH. I totally forgot we had a chem paper today and thank god it is mcq, even though I normally just scrape through this component of the exam. Ont the bright side, there's a 0.25 chance of getting it correct! Haha. Ok, better do some revision before I head off for school. Going to visit my dad after the paper.

My mum just ordered FashionTV today! yay! Sometimes I think it's really weird for someone of my personality to be so into fashion. I suppose growing up with a brother and mainly not playing with barbies and stuff, in addition to the relentless brainwashing of haute couture since I was just a baby does that to you. I mean, who dresses their 1 year old in dior dress?!?

Just came back from the hospital. My sis, bro and mum were there, but my mum left eaerlier for work. An optician came to check my dad's degree then we went to look at some spectacle frames for him. It was kinda difficult because dad wasn't there and my bro kept insisting on getting the chicken little ones so dad would be forced to be stuck with some psychedelic 1970's humongo glasses. Bet he's still pretty sore about losing the chess game. Bought some food, went back up, Charmaine and bro went to get some medical records and dinner, while I sat there and talked to dad. There were some awkward interruptions of silence since I'm not exactly the best conversationalist around unlike all my other siblings. It was more like dad trying to talk to me than the other way round. 5th aunt came and I didn't know who she was at first, but I could sort of recognize her face. I mean, my dad's side of the family has very distinct and obvious features that is pretty hard to miss. I think she was rather reproved of me because I didn't seem to know what exactly was going on or that I couldn't exactly speak to her as charmingly as my bro could. I left when my bro came back and dad was having dinner. Eating my usual special k yoghurt clusters for dinner now.

My dad told me good luck for my exams and for some reason I just felt so guilty for my stupidity. You know how some people regard themselves as the black sheep of the family? I'm the voyeur of the family. Everytime I look at them, I feel like I don't belong at all. So char and I haven't spoken to or met for like what, 5 years? But that doesn't seem to make a difference with my bro and her now does it? It seems like the blood through them is so ingrained that they all manage to click the moment they meet, al too. Me? Sometimes I feel like I was just found in a box by the dump or something. I just sit at the side, and like when they speak to me, it's so obligatory, so contrived. Family? What the hell is a family in the first place huh.

Your Vocabulary Score: A-

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary! You must be quite an erudite person.

How's Your Vocabulary?

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?
This is scarily true...

I think God is still recovering from his hangover.

Physics wasn't really good. It wasn't as awful as paper 2 but it wasn't good either. Oh well, on the flip side, it is the last time I would ever have to do physics again. All I have left is chem paper 1 Ho yin kiong and bio paper 1. Thank god Bush's visit wouldn't be affecting my papers. I can't imagine having to sit through a 2h bus journey to school.

I've pretty much denied myself of rice and bread for so long that I feel sick when I eat it now. I attempted to eat some bread my mum brought home and had a gag reflex as I tried to force it down my throat. Two days later, and I'm still feeling the horrid effects of indigestion from that rice and bread. And to think those were the staples of my diet. What a mercurial person I am. SO now, I officially do not eat potatoes( unless in chips or chunky mash potato form, whipped ala KFC, wedges or chunky fries are intolerable), rice ( i think sushi is alright, i haven't tried yet) and bread in general. And I'm supposed to be the fuss-free, rubbish bin in my class apart from my intolerance to spicy food! Hmmm, oh yes and I do not eat clam chowder, avocados, scallops, lobster, crabmeat sticks, fishcake(it's tolerable lah) and what else? I think that's it. And sweet sugary drinks.

Okay, I'm going off to see my dad now.

God must have had a hangover from yesterday.

Chem p2 was pretty repulsive and weird in the same sense as the physics paper, but it wasn't half that bad. at least. But I still couldn't do a moajority of the questions. Sigh. I really doubt I could ever go to a university at this rate.

I swear, local shows are so corny and dumb, they are funny. Tv mobile just had to kill of my meagre amount of braincells left but showing some reruns of local chinese soaps. Thank god for the invention of mp3s. I saw an ad that rain is coming to singapore, and his tickets are ranging from $488 to $188. Like dude, come on, you aren't THAT big are you? That's rivalling the price of the Rolling Stones are total legends! Its a lot more than eric clapton even. Pfft.

If I don't graduate,
I want to be a butcher like this dude.

I'm doing a wordsearch at dictionary.com now. And you would not believe what is the topic for it. "In a daze". How apt isn't it.

God must have been drunk today.(damn, i love those words.)

The person who set the paper more likely. This must have been the weirdest, most difficult physics paper I've ever encountered. It probably is in the history of A levels, I daresay. Who in the world bothers about the definition of a radian? I couldn't do more than half the paper, and was pretty dazed throughout it. Evern the darn mcq was so freaking weird. I wouldn't place it in the challenging category, which is the type where you rack you brains a little more and the solution would just magically appear in front of you. Hell no. You could bust your brains for days on end, and never come to an answer.

My mum isn't home today so I'm stuck eating leftover rice (from like 3 days ago?), with japanese sprinkles, and some pesto bread with olive oil. Ugh. All the starch is making me sick. and fat. My dad's condition seems to be deteriorating and I'm really getting scared. Last night I almost had another panic attack while thinking about growing old. The avereage life expectancy should be fixed at 55. Honestly, it'll do the world a lot more good. I think i'll visit my dad after my chem tomorrow. Sometimes, I just feel everyone is so contrived.

I freak out when a razorblade cut me
I freak out thinking people didn't like me.

I woke up pretty early today, but I felt like
I was having a hangover of some sort and took two aspirins.
Dazed and confused.
Nearly soaked my specialK red berries cereal with water
instead of milk.
I need to get more groceries later this afternoon.
Not visiting my dad today.
Mum wants me to concentrate on my exams
and I don't want to be left alone with my siblings anyway.


I'm sort of losing track of my life,
not knowing what is real or fantasy.
The boundaries between reality and my dreams
are getting more and more ambigious by the minute.
I can't stop myself from shaking,
and it get me so scared.
I'm like a druggie undergoing cold turkey,
with my hands spasms
and wretched gut.
My head is so fogged up I can't think straight.
It's times like these I just want to put a gun to my head
to silence all the voices echoing inside,
to stop the dull throbbing,
to put an end to all the confusion
that's inundating my life.

No, I don't think I'm emo.

I just came back from visiting my dad at tths. All my siblings had gathered there, a more complete reunion than we ever hve during cny. I'm not too sure how bad the situation is, but from the way the doctor said it, it did seem rather complex. So my dad has to stay for another week for observation, but at least he doees look a lot better than before. Charmaine & alvin seemed to have qualms about the doc's proffessionalism as he seems so scatterbrained, leaving his stethoscope and stuff all over the place.

Alvin was trying to convince me out of taking law. I just don't know how can all my brothers be so damn eloquent. It was terribly annoying as we argued about the ease of digestion of certain food. After dad finished his lunch, we had to seperate and my siblings went for lunch while I went to stock up on groceries. Finally, I got some aspirin and replenished my miniscule supply of antaacid. Was kind of caught in the downpour and almost was knocke3d down by a car as I took the sheltered route of passing through the carpark. Walking in slippers doesnt make things easier, now does it.

I felt pretty useless and immature compared to them, that I can't even believe we are related. All my siblings seem to be of the same personality while I am the more reserved introvert. I just don't know what to do to help when all have been taken care of. I guess I'm just an extra baggage in the family. Empathy and apathy just does not run through my veins. I just feel so alienated from this family at times. I can tell Al and char try to talk to me, but it is just all so contrived.

Oh we are the lonely ones

Everyone is born to this world alone. Today was the first time I had an anxiety attack. At that point I really wanted to take my penknife and just stab my chest to stop my heart from palpitating so excruciatingly and slit my throat, so I could breathe better. I was shaking so hard I could stand up and my hands couldn't hold the knife properly. This is not the time to start falling apart. I don't know how I'm going to face him. I don't want to. I'm so afraid.

The blinds are fully lowered. The rain is beating upon my window and thunder is rolling. I crouch under my table and immerse myself in the voice of Ville, serenading about the sensuals of love and death. What a befitting scene for the emotional rollercoaster I'm experiencing. Can this only end in death?

I'm trying to focus on physics but I
keep thinking of what my bro said to me and what happened this morning.
I'm so sick I want to puke.
I popped to panadol extra strong and my headache still remains.

I wish I had someone to help me get through this.

I'm so scared that I've been bawling for 2 hours straight after overhearing my parents' conversation this morning, right after I woke up. I've been hiding under the covers ever since because my mum doesn't want me to know what's going on as she wants me to concentrate on my A's. Too late, my bro beat her to it. I just don't know what to do right now. I really need to learn how to emote.

I just want to run away.

Math was pretty awful today. Especially statistics. I am so glad I would never have to look up that darn normal distribution table again. Cambridge had completely slaughtered me at this paper. Sigh.

Tuition at night wasn't very productive as darryl kept coming over to show us some cool card tricks. I never can figure them out! I think has only one who has the sharpest eyes is auntie. Which reminds me, oi and I totally came up with a fictional boyfriend for her and darryl just got caught hook line and sinker. It was just so hilarious.

I couldn't really concentrate on prison break today because I had a talk with my bro. I haven't spoken to him since our last fight when I was about sec 2, so I felt pretty awkward. Especially on such a heavy subject. I just don't know what to do or how to respond. I feel like the most unfilial girl in the whole world. The evil spawn that has been cursed upon this family. I really shouldn't be having such horrid thoughts, but all I want to do is run away and escape the problem. Selfish, self absorbed, selfcentered. Immature, irresponsible, cowardly. Someone, please just extirpate this girl from the face of the earth.

The buildings are collapsing,
crumbling in to debris.
I need to escape from my entrapment.
NOW.

If all clowns were like this, I wouldn't have my phobia of them.

Blog warming party! Haha. After coming full circle, I've returned to the same url all over again. Just a whim, this fickly fickle girl has. Apologies to those who bother to update their links. Say hi if you drop by!

The template is a tad bit plain isn't? But minimalism is not so bad, simplicity is beauty. I shall add more links on another day. Oh well, I really should be hitting the books instaed ow dawdling and dabbling in this kind of rubbish but I just don't jave the heart too. Sigh. To have such a childish tantrum in the midst of my A levels. Alrighty then, I've seriously have to go do some math for the LAST PAPER I'LL EVER TAKE ON THE SUBJECT tomorrow.